We're at the end of a long, dark year. As far as this years horror movie selections, we were pretty much left alone without a flashlight like that blonde girl and her little gay brother on Jurassic Park. But just as that girl somehow found the will to get up off of her little diesel behind and run that fancy computer system to save the day, the show must go on.
Strap on your snowsuits, dolls.
It's time, at last, for the FaggotyassAwards Nominations Spectacular!!!
Best Actress:
Natalie Portman - Black Swan
Rooney Mara
(for pretending to be Kristen Stewart pretending to be Heather Langenkamp pretending to be Nancy Thompson)
Best Film:
Monsters
Let Me In
Suspiria 2: Black Swan
Guys I'd Go Gay For:
Patrick Fabian - The Last Exorcism
Benjamin Millepied - Black Swan
Best of luck to all the nominees.
You decide the winners, so vote to your hearts content in the comments section (Yes, Ali, you can even vote for yourself, doll...and, yes, your babies can vote too). Like last year, my favorite voters will receive a fantastic, FaggotyAss Gift Basket that is sure to induce envy and rage from all your friends and neighbors. Exciting!!
that fine ass jewish man deserves to win everything and then come and give it to me! okay??
ReplyDeleteNever Sleep Again. Ali Larter. Adam Scott.
ReplyDelete2010 really was the year for Lemon Drop Larter, so she gets my vote for best actress & best vodka pitch-lady.
ReplyDeleteBest Actress-Natalie Portman, because I saw my own pain mirrored in her eyes when Barbara Hershey threatened to trash her celebratory cake. Who among us hasn't consumed an entire something in an attempt to win the approval of a parental figure.
ReplyDeleteBest Film-Never Sleep Again, Tuesday Knight's FACE.
Guy I'd Go Gay For-MaleDren, wait...it was still LadyDren when it threw back its head and sprouted wings during intercourse, right? Eh, either way.
Best A is Natalie because she designed this whole thing and still throws petals down to us.
ReplyDeleteBest Gay is Adam Scott because that skinny Jew is really just an extension of Natalie's body double writhing around beneath Mila Kunis.
Best Film is Black Swan because my mom wants to see it and see above...
taylor swift in that song about john mayer aka sleeping with the enemy 2 in 3D
ReplyDelete@bp - you know the only taylor swift song is that one about ashley green! "she's not a saint and she's not what you think, she's an actress (woooah-oh)"
ReplyDeleteBlack Swan/Suspiria 2 all the way in all categories. Esp that fine young man with the very fine ass. Never Sleep Again was fantastic too.
ReplyDelete