tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7769701058516558292024-03-13T10:38:16.655-07:00Now Kindly Undo These Strapsan exploration of horror movies and the gay people who love themjeffreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09922584763911591608noreply@blogger.comBlogger263125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-52058531092791376642022-08-10T22:25:00.001-07:002022-08-10T22:25:12.541-07:00Shall we?Hi kids,Howzit going? Anything interesting happen since I last checked in?Aside from living out The Stand while getting to watch the fake Stand reboot (no disrespect to Owen Teague - call me), we're also getting to have an old fashioned gay pox summer. The fun doesn't stop!On top of all that, I started getting brainwashed by a cult called NOOM in hopes of losing my Covid-34, so I can't even eat jeffreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09922584763911591608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-16736263365809315972020-09-16T06:18:00.002-07:002020-09-16T06:18:55.303-07:00it is what it isCalifornia is on fire. We can't leave the house because of a global pandemic. Gyms and movie theatres are closed. I've melded into my sofa like a Cronenberg film, but I still don't have the bandwidth to take screenshots. That means it's time for us all to hunker down with our family-sized container of Chips Ahoys and watch Spookies, a movie with no less than three directorjeffreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09922584763911591608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-31308351106935040622019-10-31T10:55:00.005-07:002020-05-18T04:06:06.273-07:00Why Horror?I have a complicated relationship with The Shining. It's no secret that I had a fucked up childhood. We all did. Trauma is relative, I get that. For me, personally, my trauma involved having a dad who repeatedly tried to kill me and my mom. He was a Vietnam veteran, so I'm sure he had lots of trauma of his own. I can't imagine.
As a little boy, my trauma jeffreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09922584763911591608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-77294472129030594632019-10-30T10:55:00.000-07:002019-10-30T10:55:18.675-07:00happy halloween!Because some of you children aren't aware of what real cinema looks like, here's The Midnight Hour - a film in which Shari Belafonte is a closeted lesbian who gets a vampire girlfriend in a wine cellar while How Soon Is Now by the Smiths plays. Your favs could NEVER!
Eat junk food. Have sex with a mask on. We have a whole month to recover before Xmas.
xoxo
love ujeffreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09922584763911591608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-54613940113065977002019-10-25T08:20:00.000-07:002019-10-31T15:57:31.349-07:00everyone loves a listDecades are weird, man.
I remember sitting in front of my little 12inch TV in my bedroom in Gloucester, MA when 1989 turned into 1990. These were dark days. I was in catholic school at the time, so I was miserable. Bullied and fat.
When I wasn't playing Goonies 2 ad nauseam on my NES, this was the period in which I finally saw The Exorcist and I was absolutely Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-61268283339299867482019-10-21T09:10:00.000-07:002019-10-21T09:10:01.575-07:00no pressure...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-88567336688603954562019-10-16T20:11:00.001-07:002020-05-18T04:11:15.797-07:00fall into it
"People being bullied and hurt isn't funny. You'd probably spend your whole life giggling at other people's hurt."
I watched a Russian torrent of the Steve Bannon Joker movie because I didn't want to support the Steve Bannon Joker movie because the endeavor of remaking King of Comedy without Sandra Bernhard is a fruitless endeavor at best. The only thing that makes KingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-47595342567015640802019-10-11T11:31:00.001-07:002020-05-18T04:11:51.378-07:00everything old is new againI love Elvira. I don't understand why we can't stream her early, Channel 9 broadcast stuff. I remember sneaking up late with my face pressed to the TV, the volume all the way down as not to get caught. There was a movie about Satanic doctors played by very stuffy Brits. Terrifying.
I also don't understand why Shudder doesn't compliment their Joe-Bob Briggs marathons jeffreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09922584763911591608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-6308255317230375552019-10-09T08:50:00.003-07:002020-05-18T04:25:06.178-07:00return to camp blood
"Doesn't it bother you that he's a fag?"
Queer Horror is a genre. There are podcasts about it and books about it and Shudder has a curated queer section and Fangoria even did an ugly gay pride shirt this summer. Eight-four years after Bride of Frankenstein, fags are having a moment in the mainstream of a subset. Good for us. This wasn't the case when I started thisUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-27233594471240451522019-10-04T07:40:00.001-07:002020-05-18T04:25:52.215-07:00let's talk about sex, babyUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-24810029139530909102019-10-02T21:12:00.000-07:002019-10-02T21:12:14.280-07:00Passing the BechdelI love pizza and I hate rich people so I had a nice time binge-eating junk food and watching an illegal torrent of Satanic Panic with my dog.
Jerry O'Connell was the best part of that messy Munsters try-again and I like to support him in all his endeavors.
I also like stories about working class women finding solace in friendship and joining forces to fight back against systemic jeffreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09922584763911591608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-46122499502030100142019-10-01T08:27:00.000-07:002019-10-01T08:27:10.937-07:00light the candles, get the ice out...
It's October. That means we have about two more weeks til they start carrying Egg Nog and I buy Egg Nog and put it in my coffee and don't come-to until the first week of January when I have no idea HOW I gained fifteen pounds.
Go to a scary movie.
Go on a Haunted Hay Ride.
Set a Republican's car on fire. This is our time!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-71433025418811048982019-09-17T13:04:00.001-07:002020-05-18T04:17:49.017-07:00you've got to pick up every stitchSpider-Man taught me that with great power
comes great responsibility and, as a boy-crazy slut, it's my responsibility to
point you in the direction of queer horror films that can change your life. So, if you're anything like me, there's a manifesto that demands your attention:
Anna Biller's The Love
Witch (2016).
My best friend used to date this messy
gay who would Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-11283690974612000342019-09-13T03:00:00.000-07:002019-09-13T09:52:14.292-07:00do it up rightI hope y'all refilled your PrEP prescriptions because it's FRIDAY THE 13TH!
Celebrate. Get high. Drink domestic beer. Get an STI!
These days, it's all we have left.
But in case you're anything like me and need to have a strict itinerary or else you just wind up watching tv on the living room floor - here are some suggestions of holiday-appropriate activities from our Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-76554409764095917182019-09-09T09:15:00.000-07:002019-09-09T09:15:27.677-07:00live fast, die young
I dated a scammer once and a movie I helped him produce got into a film festival because he was besties with the programmer and another movie dropped out and this (much better) movie was part of that lineup, thus making it the best thing to come out of that relationship. Sharing is caring. More life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-39548283161036879292019-09-06T13:58:00.000-07:002019-09-09T14:20:29.568-07:00DIY
"Why don't you start cleaning upstairs and I'll work on the downstairs?"
My biological family is dead and I didn't inherit a haunted mansion. Not even a craftsman.
Some days that's harder to accept than others - especially with the median two-bedroom-tear-down in my neighborhood selling for over two-million dollars. Who has two million dollars? I don't. I had to Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-75640836980896839522019-09-06T07:12:00.001-07:002019-09-06T09:31:20.889-07:00beep, beepHow many home-of-sexuals are in the new It movie?
That's certainly more than I was expecting so...
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-31321459871258885852019-08-30T11:15:00.000-07:002019-09-03T20:15:07.306-07:00we need to talk about skippy
"Why can't you just be normal!?"
Five years before I actually came out, I wrote two gay fan letters.
One was to "Norm" from the first season of The Real World. I must have been around 12 at the time and I near lost my mind seeing a chic queer person with a dog and a burgeoning career in Art on MTV. I loved him. I still do. I love how he was aloof and Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-50577903084260521312019-08-27T09:13:00.000-07:002019-08-27T09:13:04.601-07:00do you know what she did?Whether you don't drive because you're gay or you drive badly because you're gay, no day in Los Angeles is complete without at least an hour in traffic.
You either get real zen about it or you just stop hanging out with all your friends and stay home.
When I do find the strength to motivate myself up and out of the house, I like a podcast.
With so much "content" available Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-44209055522662895442019-08-23T09:47:00.000-07:002019-08-23T10:05:16.686-07:00The Mayor of Elm Street: The Life and Times of Mark Patton
"I liked to spy on
Madonna and I liked to go to dinners at Merv Griffin's house."
Outfest in
Los Angeles is always a mixed bag. By that, I mean I hate it. It's
a schlep from Santa Monica. The people border on pretentious and I hate
pretension. I don't like crowds. I don't like running into ex-boyfriends.
I don't like feeling like I'm being sized up... I could Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-30417175497617562152019-08-16T09:03:00.000-07:002019-08-18T21:17:26.734-07:00ten years laterGood morning, kids
I think if you live long enough, you can start recognizing pattern behavior. Take for example this time every year in the dredges of summer when, like clockwork, I start longing for autumn leaves and pumpkin bars.
Like a gay zombie I start roaming the aisles of target, desperate to put my hands on chintzy poly-blend vampire capes and table-runners.
August is always theUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-69329666555895124222019-07-11T14:46:00.003-07:002019-07-11T14:46:35.817-07:00i miss her every dayIt's not Friday. It's Thursday. As if that weren't enough a blow to my well-being, I have a summer cold and I can't work out and I also seem to have hit an age wall where I'm gaining, on average, about a pound a day. This is a dark time.
Then I remembered Ma (2019).
Ma is a movie where a lady invites a bunch of kids to her basement and makes them totino's pizza Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-64592428046324668112019-07-05T09:38:00.002-07:002019-07-05T09:39:11.252-07:00vacation, all i ever wantedI loved Midsommar. Duh.
It's a movie about grief and finding community.
Whether being gay or, more specifically, a horror gay, I know how important it is to find people who speak your language - people who don't wish away your emotions, but who instead help you process them - who cry and laugh and rage along with you. With community, we're less alone on this garbage planet.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-76196581474411893762018-10-24T18:57:00.000-07:002018-10-24T18:57:00.706-07:00u even podcast, bro?
One of my worst vices is listening to podcasts while playing my modded classic Nintendo when I'm supposed to be doing real work.
I don't even know how to use any of the games except Tetris and Dr. Mario and Mario 3 and the first level of Castlevania and sometimes Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street, but only when Mark comes over and neither of us know how to Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-776970105851655829.post-64125883377264413152018-10-22T08:32:00.000-07:002018-10-22T08:32:14.983-07:00sharing is caringI hope you're all staying hydrated and doing your steps - we're in the final stretch to Halloween! Anyway, this is Mark Gattis' History of Horror. This is an older special, but it slaps. Unlike Eli Roth, Mark doesn't hate gay people. I like that in a man.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0